Life changing

Picture this:

You're going about your usual day, the usual thoughts popping in about enjoying the weather outside later or getting some paperwork finally completed.
  Until everything, even life itself changes before you.

Seconds before you were blissfully unaware of what was to come.
Seconds before you were worrying about trivial things
Seconds before you weren't questioning what if.

I question my capabilities when it comes to what I wear or how much I earn or do for others even how much peanut butter on my toast in the morning.
I question daily if I've smiled enough, listened enough, loved enough, excelled enough, been enough.

But in those seconds which fell into minutes that felt like hours. Like time stood still. I couldn't question these things
My only thoughts were that of the people I love and of what to do next

My capabilities were tested in a way during this time that were profound and downright terrifying.

My hands worked faster than my brain.

Have you ever wondered how much you can do with your hands?!
They can grab and squeeze and lift and carry, wave and boo, encourage or offend. But that day my hands did something different, and a part of me changed forever.

I cant stop thinking about those minutes, I'll be forever different because of it.
But I am so glad that I am.

I don't need to question my capabilities.
I have to trust myself and my training.

I just hope that I don't experience those seconds or minutes for a little while. My brain is still adjusting. My soul is still healing.

But this I know.
I will be okay
Not today
Maybe not tomorrow.
Life works in mysterious ways.
Now just to wait for my next move.

Xx