The last two weeks it has been me.
Unfortunately I have kept this close to my chest, not because I might not get back the feedback that I want, but more because when I write these blog posts I lay bare a lot of myself. But I don't want to hide anymore so this will be my new Ah-Huh! That and since my previous Ah-huh I'm actually learning to take it but only by those in my corner because this blog is all of me except my body and my person. I don't know if you have worker it out by now, but 'social media' can be very different to what the real life is. It does not define who you are... But it helps when you need to voice something such as this.
That is until I had an ah-huh moment...
I actually don't appreciate being forgotten about.
Its not right to leave someone out that you think you are connected to or to make someone smaller to fit your expectations
If it feels wrong. It probably is.
If you can't quite determine what's going on; It is okay to want or need space.
For many reasons. For all reasons.
But please don't have your reasoning's coming from a place of malice
Don't feel you need to make excuses when you need to stop, start, grow or wonder.
its not selfish to want what you want.
When you feel the need to track a new path, some may inadvertently dim your way.
Without realising it you may have grown as a person.
Maybe its an end of a journey of something you didn't expect. it happens. doesn't mean it always has to be looked on with regret. simply put; Send good thoughts and hopes but you don't need to be dull to make someone bright. they are already bright and they have those to make them brighter, which is why it most certainly is your turn. Why can't you be bright around your circle?
At the end of the day who is always there for you no matter what? If you are unsure or simply you think I've gone loopy. Go ask your mirror.
My biggest thing right now that I've newly realised is that being cruel to myself is not okay.
my ah-huh moment is a hundred ah-huhs rolled into one.
I have mental health. I am certainly not about to put that ahead of anyone or anything. Taking different form for everyone there should never be a competition on who's is worse or who has more 'social' living
It doesn't matter how many friends or family you have. you are not less than someone else.
But it sure as does matter that the friends and family surrounding you build you up at all times.
You want to spend time with them, even if its a 20minute messenger chat every few days or a phone call once a month or a visit every few years.
It is not a second thought who you want to spend your light with.
One person is not better than another. Once you start treating people like that, the more one closes off from you to skip one more disappointment, one more unrealistic hoop to jump through.
I do appreciate the family I have. My family are not 100 per cent bonded to me by blood, but by circumstance. It has been given or created. I love them beyond measure and I know that it is returned full force.
Nothing is required. no hoops. No grand gestures. No need to play childish games for someone else's enjoyment over yours.
With every moment my circle becomes bigger, but in love and by bodies and people that are there the be boosted by the love already waiting for them by my wonderful family.
So the down low.
I am not about to apologise for closing my circle in tight or focusing on importances that mean something to me.
I refuse to be dim because my light is around me making me seem less like a lightbulb and more like a sun and I am thankful.
I leave you with an inspirational quote. Yes I like them. No I don't mind if you don't.
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