My last blog post, I had mentioned that I was accepted into tafe to study Disability.
It was my dream course. I was looking forward to it so much! I wanted to buy stationary, a planner, I updated my laptop to having windows office installed, I had a plan. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, how I'd live my life and that I would be a step in the right direction... Instead of just running in circles and chasing tales.
Enrolment day came around faster than I knew, and I was so keen, something to look forward to, work towards.
I tripped.
So it turns out the day of my enrolment, I received a crushing blow to my positivity. To enrol into my course, I was expected to have a mere $10,000 as I was not eligible for government subsidies. I had no way of coming up with that kind of money so I sadly had to let go of my dream, my plan.
Why I was only told on the day I was due to enrol, and not the month before when I was originally accepted into the course I will NEVER understand NOR will I forgive the Institute of tafe for that. I will never forget either the feeling of grief that took over my being, the hurt nor the shock.
What was I going to do? My dream was in pieces and I was facing a reality I didn't like..
Naturally, not knowing where to start, how to start again I slipped, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact I'd put everything into my plan and fall flat on my face.
So where will I start again? Which road will I take?
I fell.
One idea would be volunteer at a disability centre, get some experience up, hit the course the next year, then try for full time work.
I could apply for a job as a support worker & maybe they'd pay for my qualification.
Maybe I'd give up altogether, join a circus. *Note would have to learn to juggle, back flip, ride horses, get better at my coordination*
I seem to make a lot of friends when it comes to animals, adopting them, feeding them, talking to them... Could be interesting. Could also be painful and dangerous...
I could learn to Hula. Yes Hula hooping is included in this thought, cartwheels were fun when I was a kid, maybe they still would be. As would doing handstands.
Just because something was now out of my reach, did I really deep down want to give up. So my newly revised plan;
Volunteer, renew some certificates, enjoy the summer, look forward to heading over to Bali in April and then make a move to start looking into my new dream, newly revised.
One thing I was sure about and still am, is that I can do a heap of things, but I want to do this. As much as it stinks that I am not going to be living my plan that I had originally, I cannot and will not give in, because I need this. Yet again it's another challenge that I'm willing to accept.
Positivity.
The next coming weeks and months I'm going to do what I should've been doing more often than not. I need to live and breathe positivity, spread good karma and most of all not give up on myself and my dreams or goals.
P.S a huge thankyou to my friend Bel, for being there when I got the information. My rationality brain. I love you.
And a massive thankyou to all who have helped me recognise my strengths, and helped build up my positivity to where it is now. I love you.
Xx
It was my dream course. I was looking forward to it so much! I wanted to buy stationary, a planner, I updated my laptop to having windows office installed, I had a plan. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, how I'd live my life and that I would be a step in the right direction... Instead of just running in circles and chasing tales.
Enrolment day came around faster than I knew, and I was so keen, something to look forward to, work towards.
I tripped.
So it turns out the day of my enrolment, I received a crushing blow to my positivity. To enrol into my course, I was expected to have a mere $10,000 as I was not eligible for government subsidies. I had no way of coming up with that kind of money so I sadly had to let go of my dream, my plan.
Why I was only told on the day I was due to enrol, and not the month before when I was originally accepted into the course I will NEVER understand NOR will I forgive the Institute of tafe for that. I will never forget either the feeling of grief that took over my being, the hurt nor the shock.
What was I going to do? My dream was in pieces and I was facing a reality I didn't like..
Naturally, not knowing where to start, how to start again I slipped, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact I'd put everything into my plan and fall flat on my face.
So where will I start again? Which road will I take?
I fell.
One idea would be volunteer at a disability centre, get some experience up, hit the course the next year, then try for full time work.
I could apply for a job as a support worker & maybe they'd pay for my qualification.
Maybe I'd give up altogether, join a circus. *Note would have to learn to juggle, back flip, ride horses, get better at my coordination*
I seem to make a lot of friends when it comes to animals, adopting them, feeding them, talking to them... Could be interesting. Could also be painful and dangerous...
I could learn to Hula. Yes Hula hooping is included in this thought, cartwheels were fun when I was a kid, maybe they still would be. As would doing handstands.
Just because something was now out of my reach, did I really deep down want to give up. So my newly revised plan;
Volunteer, renew some certificates, enjoy the summer, look forward to heading over to Bali in April and then make a move to start looking into my new dream, newly revised.
One thing I was sure about and still am, is that I can do a heap of things, but I want to do this. As much as it stinks that I am not going to be living my plan that I had originally, I cannot and will not give in, because I need this. Yet again it's another challenge that I'm willing to accept.
Positivity.
The next coming weeks and months I'm going to do what I should've been doing more often than not. I need to live and breathe positivity, spread good karma and most of all not give up on myself and my dreams or goals.
P.S a huge thankyou to my friend Bel, for being there when I got the information. My rationality brain. I love you.
And a massive thankyou to all who have helped me recognise my strengths, and helped build up my positivity to where it is now. I love you.
Xx
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